and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
