I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
