I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
