Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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