How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
