Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
