It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
