I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
