What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
