He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
