he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
