I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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