Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
