I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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