I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
