Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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