Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I intend to get homeless drunk
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize