At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
