dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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