Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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