Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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