I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
