he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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