Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
