I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So squirting runs in the family.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
