So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
40s are totally the cure
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
