So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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