just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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