he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
