I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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