There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
