Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize