Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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