it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
