I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
