He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
