SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
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