You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
