i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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