Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize