her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
