Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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