My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize