I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize