I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
