They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
