oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize