Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
