Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize