I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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