Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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