I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
