he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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