it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
