Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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