The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
