ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
