Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
