I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize