I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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