This is not my ceiling
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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