if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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