DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
