You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Randomize
